13 October 2008

Dust Bunnies

One more story from my college days:

When I was in the living in the dorms I had a buddy who lived across the hall. I'll call him, Steve, but only because that's his real name. He had a roommate whose name was Dustin.

Dustin never talked.


It sort of freaked Steve out. I think he used to get a, "Hi," out of him now and then, but other than that it was silence. After a few months of this, it was freaking Steve out.

Steve, my roommate (Ecks -- not his real name, but that's what we called him,) and I used to play cards together every Friday night. Dustin used to vacate the room for us and we would hang out in Steve's room and play cards for a while.

One night, we got to talking about Dustin and how he was wearing on Steve since he never talked to him.

Steve: "It's really weird. I don't even like being around him. It's not normal. I keep waiting for him to snap."

We agreed and the night wore on. We got a little impish at one point and started playing tricks on Dustin. Nothing serious...we turned his drawers over so his stuff would fall on the floor when he opened them, we glued the pages shut in an unused notebook...you know, standard college pranks.

The night wore on and we kept playing cards. Normally we only played cards for about two hours and Dustin would come back. That was usually our signal to break up the game. He didn't come back that night though, so we kept playing. After close to four hours, we were getting tired, so we were ready to call it a night. Ecks wanted to squeeze in one more prank though. It was just a simple tie all his shoelaces together prank.

Ecks reached under Dustin's bed to grab some shoes.

Ecks: "Um...guys?"

Me: "What?"

Ecks: His voice quavered a little, "Um...Dustin is under the bed."

Us: "You are so full of shit."

Ecks: "Why don't you come look?"

We shook our heads and walked over. We laid on the ground next to Ecks. Two eyes glinted back at us from the the far recesses under the bed.

You have never seen three people depart a room as quickly as we did that night. We got back to our room.

Steve: "There is no way I am sleeping in that room tonight."

Me: "You can sleep here. Of course, he can get through that door with an axe pretty easily."

Steve: "Hate you."

We all jumped when the door flew open and Dustin stood there. He slid a chair into the room and said, "You forgot your chair."

He left and Steve said, "That's the most he's said all semester."

Eventually we all calmed down and Steve went to confront psycho boy. It turned out that ultimately he was just really, un-freaking-believably, shy. He had hidden under the bed that night to see what we thought about him and since we never left, he was trapped. He came out of his shell after that and we all became close friends.

We were sort of lucky that he wasn't a psycho though. He would have totally murdered us in our sleep for that one. The headlines would have read, "Three college students found murdered with 733 stab wounds...each."I still laugh when I think of what it must have looked like from his point of view with the three of us peering under the bed at him.

He still remains the first and only person to have ever burned me in effigy though. That happened after I started calling him 'dust bunny."


Jamie said...

I think it's totally great (although a little odd) that you ended up being friends with him. I think hiding under the bed goes way beyond being shy - I really think you are all very lucky he didn't chop you up. Are you still friends with him???

Ron said...

You really had me, building up the suspense. I couldn't guess what was going to happen and then I was laughing out loud at the end. All I could picture was Silent Bob with a meat clever.

Tony said...

This was really a great post. I thought it was a little weird that he was hiding under the bed and said he was doing so because he was shy - after all this time,what happened to him? Are you guys still friends?

Nap Warden said...

Holy freaky story Batman! At least it all ended well:)

Tracey said...

Holy Hell. That freaked me out.

Heinous said...

Jamie and Tony: I haven't heard a peep from him since college. I should look him up. I'll check under the bed first.

Ron: We were stunned that he opened up so quick after that. I'm going to open my own school of psychology.

NW and Tracey: I was a magnet for weird happenings and odd folk back in the day. Now it's just the occasional odd person.

Vodka Mom said...

OMG! I thought you were totally going to say he was under the bed DEAD!!

What a great story! I was GLUED to the screen.

for a different kind of girl said...

Sweet jeez!! I was totally freaked out by that! How stunning that you all became friends later.

steenky bee said...

Alright. This story turned out a little different and a whole lot better than I thought it would. I was sure Steve was gonna end up taking a knife in the back or a face to a hotplate. I'm glad things worked out. Poor Dustin, trapped under the bed.

Cheryl said...

What a great story!!

Anonymous said...

What a hilarious story!! I love it. Kinda reminds me of the weird guy on "roadtrip". lol. I like your blog, found you thru vodka mom.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Hiding under the bed while your roommate and his friends are playing cards is almost as bizarre as getting a brand. Almost.


JaxPop said...

Good story - 'specially the nickname. Thanks for the laugh.

Heinous said...

Deb: Dead. Now that would have sucked, but it wouldn't have surprised our RA at the time.

fadkog: It was, by far, the biggest turn around I've ever seen anyone do. I guess mattress trauma will do that.

Jen: We thought Steve deserved a medal for going back to talk with him. It turned out good though.

Cheryl: I'm glad you liked it.

Mrs. D: Thank you for stopping by. I'm off to read your now ;)

Ellie: Aw, c'mon. You know you want one.

Bee said...

That freaked me out a little bit. Yeah, I'm no ashamed to admit it.

You can take creative license and tell it around a camp fire during the Halloween season. Only end it with "to this day I see eyes under my bed!"
Oh, I just scared myself again.


Red Cup Mom said...

How funny! Dust bunny is such an appropriate nickname. I can just imagine you guys freaking out after seeing him under the bed. What til you tell your boy about this someday! Not sure what the message you will impart, but funny as hell.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Ho. Lee. Crap. That was riveting.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh sorry, that was me. of ME and you and ellie. The other two are way less important.


The Stiletto Mom said...

Where did you go to college? I want to make sure my children don't go there what with all the BRANDING and what not. Add this to it and it sounds like something out of a movie...which might be an idea for you...you could get rich off these people! Thanks for the good laugh to start off my day!

Heinous said...

Jaxpop: Any time.

Bee: I can still close my eyes and see him under there.

RCM: That's one that I CAN tell him.

me (aka Jacquie): I'll take your word for that. With boots like that, you must be the one to listen to.

Mary Anne: PSU. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a campus-wide activity though.

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

HOLY COW I think you have yourself the beginnings of a novel. Except y'all would get chopped up by dust bunny man. OK and hiding under the bed is beyond being shy that is CRAZZZZZIEEEEEE!!!!!!

Marinka said...

That is absolutely hysterical. And I'm so looking under my bed tonight. Just in case.

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

I LOVE that story. Totally brilliant.I can't believe you became buddies after too.
I wonder if he's somewhere out there blogging and telling the same story . . .

jennster said...

omfg.. omg. i would have died. holy shit. great story though!

Krystal said...

oh that so totally freaked me out!

Anndi said...

That was totally creepy...

If you ever have to have a roomate, make it someone who's allergic to dust that way no hiding under beds.

LOL @ ron: Silent Bob with a meat clever LOL!

Kat said...

When you found him in the bed all I could think was that it was gonna go downhill quickly. I am glad that you all ended up being friends!

Heinous said...

Carrie: He could give Mike Myers and Freddie a run for their money.

Marinka: If he's there, be nice. He's mostly harmless and hardly ever burn anyone in effigy.

Tara: I'll have to do a search. He may not consider that a shining moment.

Jennster and Krystal: Check your bed, just in case.

Anndi: Thanks for stopping by. Those are words of wisdom.

Heinous said...

Kat: Darn it you sneaked in before I posted. We thought the same thing.

just a girl... said...

omg that is freaking hilarious.