The Boy is turning six so we decided to throw him a party. We figured we would keep it simple, just the neighborhood kids and two other friends. Overall, the party went well but we learned some things along the way. There only seven kids there, but five of them were girls between the ages of five and seven. We have a boy.
1. The purple dinosaur mask is the most coveted by the young female humans in the entire color spectrum of dinosaur masks.
2. The winner of a fair-and-square rock, paper, scissors match is not respected by female-kind. That's simply uncivilized.
3. My wife can come up with awesome comments like, "I don't care who gets the blue cup. Why don't you two go in the bathroom and stay there until you figure it out?"
4. Girls practice fickleness early in life.
Question: "What kind of ice cream do you want?"
I turn away. "
I nod and turn away again. "
All this in the space of 8 seconds.
5. Next time colored party favors are involved with masses of little girls (which, in my life, will hopefully be never) there will be only one color. Preferably snot green.
6. Once little girls settle on a balloon color, they like them tied to their wrist so that other conniving, little girls will need blades to remove them from their owner. I offered to tie 40 or so to one girl's wrist just to see if we could get her airborne. She declined, sensing a ruse was involved.
Then there was the, "That's my ice cream," comment. I had to point out to the girls that they were both vanilla and both unopened. That seemed not to matter. The order in which they were presented was paramount. I walked off.
I notified a grandparent who had arrived that their granddaughter would be out in a second after we hammered out an issue involving A) balloon color and B) mask color and without missing a beat she said, "Invited a lot of girls did ya?"
Does everyone know about this besides my wife and I?
Despite all the bargaining over who was getting the purple dino masks, I'm pretty sure we won't see the lasses prowling the neighborhood with them on. The boys on the other hand, will be seen with them on regardless of hue.
Not all oddity occurs among females though:
When everyone was leaving The Boy said, "I'm going to let my balloon go."
I said, "Don't do that buddy. That's a domestic balloon and will never make it on its own in the wild."
He turned away. Humor is lost on the younger set sometimes. He then let it go and then complained that he had no balloon. I informed him that his grandparents were inside and he should go visit with them.
I would like to point out that I read a lot of blogs and was still woefully unprepared for party girlishness. C'mon people. I leave comments. Help me out next time. Oh well, I probably wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it anyway.
Next time we have a party, (a long ways off I hope) maybe we'll keep it to all boys. That way we'll only end up having to repair things around the house.