07 December 2008

Sunday Randomness

A quick salute to parenting super powers for the week...
1. Super hearing:
I was standing in the kitchen and heard a faint sound from outside. I thought, "I can identify that sound. Let's see. It sounds like glass...being smacked against...hmm, brick. Yes, that's definitely the sound."
Dammit.
I ran outside to see the boy testing the tensile strength of a bottle he was carrying to the recycle bin. Before parenting, I would have totally ignored that sound.
2. or when you can see into the future:
Me: "Dude, don't lean against that, you'll knock the soda off the table."
The Wife: "It will be fine."
*splash*
House rules: I warned you well ahead of time, you clean it.
============
Tech Support call:
"Hello, all my email is gone."
"What is your login ID?"
He gave it to me and said, "I graduated two years ago."
"Sir, we generally delete account 90 days past graduation."
"But I've been using it for two years."
"And we sent you a notice that your account would be deleted after 90 days."
"Well yeah, but I kept using it since you never turned it off."
"We don't backup student accounts, it's gone. There's nothing I can do here."
"But I've been using it for two years."

I can only take so much of this stuff before I turn unpredictably snarky...

"You're welcome for the gracious extension to your account." *click*

Somewhere, someone is thinking I'm a rotten bastard and I'm okay with that. He graduated anyway. We already spent that money.
============
A definition:
Blood Firsty: The feeling you get when you see a new post in your reader and are taken over by the compulsion to get to the blog and get your, "FIRST!" in.
That's it people...go enjoy your day.

43 comments:

Diane said...

First?!

Diane said...

Man, that hasn't happened in while. I got so excited, I forgot my comment. If I think of it later, I'll be back.

Diane said...

OK, how is this saying you posted on Saturday... and it's Sunday... at 1:30... and I'm the only commenter? Has the bloggy world imploded and somehow I survived?

Keely said...

Yep, I'm the fortune teller around our house. Why is it that I'm ALWAYS RIGHT and yet I get ignored anyway??

Vodka Mom said...

What, no stories from church??

kirsten said...

DOH! I don't think I'll eva be first..lol Very funny!
Yep it's true becoming a parent makes you a super human. I can sooo relate!

Kirst

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Blood firsty... I was wondering what that feeling was when I got a comment in first over at Braja's!

I love the advanced super-human reflexes that allow parents to catch all kinds of things as they fall out of children's hands and off countertops. The hearing one I could use a little work on....

p.s. My laundry is still sitting in the living room. And it has multiplied.

K and/or K said...

Firsty...I like.

College accounts that they forget to disable are a treat to give out to people who you know only want to send you spam.

Anndi said...

Yeah, no church stuff?

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

I haven't gotten that blood firsty feeling yet... I wonder why...probably cause I'm just lazy.

But I'm psyched that this is my FIRST time commentin' here 'cause you seem to have a good scene going on.

I'll be back for seconds...

Sprite's Keeper said...

I can totally see into the future..
"John, don't give her any more raisins."
"What's it gonna do?"
Two hours later...
"Jen, your turn to chamge her! Jen?..........Jen, where did you go!"

Michele said...

What an inquisitive child. You must be so proud?

Tech support at the library....
"Michele the online catalog says we have this book"

"Yeah, but in the bib record it says it is missing".

"I saw that too but could you go find it. I've read it hundreds of times and I want to read it again."

Under my breath.....
No you dope because it is probably buried on your effing desk from the last time you took it and that is why it is missing.

Comedy Goddess said...

My daughter is a skeptic. About most things I say. It's payback. Sigh.

Tony said...

I like the house rule about giving the warning and now someone else has to clean it up.

That thing about being the first to comment is funny. I've never been first here, but I will...I will...

Captain Dumbass said...

"Blood firsty." Also words that come out of my youngest demon's mouth. Um, I meant child.

DeeMarie said...

Blood Firsty. I knew you'd come up with a name for it!!! Two years after graduating... think he would've learned to set up an email account by then.

Sherendipity said...

Blood firsty....I'm so glad it's not, yet another, post about Twilight.
And, I'm never first. I need to go find some unpopular friends.

Heinous said...

Diane: Woo Hoo! I don't think it imploded...it's just a little relaxed today.

Keely: It's a curse, isn't it?

Debbie: I skipped today ;)

Kirst: Now if we could get some sort of 'house is always clean' superpower.

Amy: That damn laudry. I thought it was inorganic. You could have some trouble there.

K/K: Hey, good thinking.

Anndi: Sorry, I skipped.

Lee: It's great to have you here. Thank you for coming by. It's also a great group of people that stop by. Read as many as you can :)

Jen: Woo Hoo! That'll teach him.

Michele: Lol...we get that with the install CD's around here.

CG: You always have, "I told you so."

Tony: Someday...I'm rooting for you.

Cap'n: How cute!

DeeMarie: He learned his lesson. It only took two years.

dipity: No Twilight posts allowed here.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Number 19? Damn me for having a life and doing something other than blog hopping for the day!

Anyway, enjoy the days of your super powers because someday, he might just be too smart for you...

or not, cause you are pretty darn smart!

kia (good enough mama) said...

See, in my house, it's the kid who has the freakish hearing abilities and I get away with NOTHING. Yesterday, I slammed the dishwasher door shut (in anger, duh)and the kid yelled out, "I think you broke sumfin in there, mommy." I did. Break something. And heard all about why I shouldn't have slammed the dishwasher door 'cause I should have known I'd break something.

Braja said...

I maintain my former position on this matter: I'm always the first to post from India, and the day that changes, I get ugly. Don't push me, people....

And Amy, you're always the first on my blog, honey, in so many ways :)

Casey said...

Bloody Firsty, I love it! Did you just make that up? If so, you're a genius! I like how you can just predict the sound of whatever the boy is into.. I can usually tell too but I think it's because I've chased my kid away from every death trap in a five mile radius and he spends his days trying to get back to them.

creative kerfuffle said...

blood firsty, damn i thought it WAS a twilight post and YES i have become THAT 40 yr old cougar for that boy.
i too have the super hearing and love it. the boy and girl can be in another room and they freak out when i say stop FILL IN THE CRIME that right now.

Heinous said...

Petra: He's sneaky...it will be a battle of wits the whole way. I think I can take him though.

kia: It's going to be, "I told you so," for the rest of you life ;) Thank you for coming by.

Braja: I think you're safe so far. I'll let you know if you have competition.

Casey: That was a flash of inspiration I had over at creative kerfuffle's blog. Death traps...good times.

CK: I love when they get all wide-eyes when you do that.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Yeah I think as a parent I acquired that slow motion syndrome when everything slows down just enough so you can grab your kids hand as he goes running into the street cause he was "chasing the snow" : ) Thank God for parent powers!

Kylie w Warszawie said...

I don't have enough regular commenters for anyone to get excited and yell first at me.

And you know, I can hear water dripping on a hard wood floor from a hundred yards away when I have a bad cold. Yep, parenting makes your ears amazingly good.

The Stiletto Mom said...

Well, I'm obviously not Bloody Firsty today....I may be losing my edge again. I have to build back up to my fierceness!!!! Or is that firstness? Yes, firstness.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Am I the only one out there who *hates* being first?

Ellie

April said...

oh, we can tell the future days in advance here. LOL ;-)

Heinous said...

Sarah: I hate that one. There are very few things that can steal your sanity faster than a dash for the street.

Kylie: They clean that up for you, right?

Mary Anne: I have faith in you. You should keep a pirate flag on hand for motivation.

Ellie: Well, no one forces you...

April: Like when you child is all sorts of cranky and you know that cold or flu is coming...

Mama Dawg said...

Blood firsty. Try getting that in to Urban Dictionary. And if yours gets in and mine doesn't? I'll bloody scream.

Miss Grace said...

Excellent house rule.

Heinous said...

MD: I've never even thought of that. hmmm...

Miss Grace: Get it posted so everyone knows ;)

Cape Cod Gal said...

That house rule never works in my house! Damn it!

Giggle Pixie said...

With my parents, dad had the superpower of super hearing when it came to us kids, while mom had the superpower of super-ESP vision. She wouldn't have to hear it, smell it, or see it, but all of a sudden she would just "know" we were doing something we shouldn't be doing, and she'd catch us in the act at least 90% of the time.

Damn super-parent-powers.

blissfully caffeinated said...

I rarely satisfy my blood first. *Someone* (and I'm not naming names here, but you know who you are lady) always sneaks in ahead of me. Even when I think I'm first and I'm all woo hoo!!! Finally!!! She gets that one sexy foot in the door before me.

Parental super hearing saves my children's lives and our windows on a regular basis.

Cat said...

FIRST! Aha, take that everybody.

Heinous said...

Pixie: Those fiends. I'm sure you were only committing acts of kindness.

Jen: That's between you and She Who Will Remain Unnamed ;) The windows are a close second.

Anndi said...

Woohoo! We both skipped church...

We're going to hell! ;)

Lorraine said...

Now that the kids are grown, the sounds come from whatever my husband is doing somewhere I'm not in the house. I wait for the "I'm okay" for the mandatory 10 seconds (you know that's the real 10 second rule) and then I'll go and check it out. If he's bleeding I'll help clean up, otherwise he's on his own.

Debbie said...

I think that ability to identify sounds is my favorite parenting super power.

Heinous said...

Cat: That will teach them!

Anndi: That's okay. I hear it's not at all that bad.

Lorraine: Heck, if he can fix himself he should still be on his own. Crazy glue does the trick.

Debbie: It's like a quiz show, "Name that sound."

Red Cup Mom said...

Hahaha! This was funny from the thankless free email user! Hasn't he heard of gmail? Hello?

Sounds like you are good at your job.

Blood firsty. Hmm. Good phrase.