We switched to IP phones at work. This was a while back and ever since, I've been getting misdirected phone calls. Basically when someone dials a local number on the other side of the state, it gets redirected to our system here. Verizon insists that this isn't something that are responsible for, but that's their M.O. and another blog entry entirely.
The calls are the entertaining things. Voice messages are routed to my inbox so I can save all the really entertaining ones:
Message: "I was wondering when and where you want me to drop off this hot tub"
Well holy crap. A free hot tub? I wonder if I can get that guy to drive it 3 hours to my house? I'm not sure if I have the room for a hot tub though, so I may just have to resell it. I wonder what shipping would be on eBay?
Message: "Yeah, we're ready to have that grave dug. Give us a call when you would like to do it."
I wonder what the going rate is for grave digging? I can do that. The guy that was supposed to do it will never notice. It'll be sort of like it was subcontracted out. I'm thinking my shovel isn't going to cut it though and I don't have a backhoe handy, so I'll have to pass on that one too. I sure hope they call back and get the right number. That could potentially be an awkward situation.
Message: "You can come pick up the oxygen bottle."
What? I wonder what the market value is on an oxygen bottle? It's related to the medical industry, so I should be able to charge roughly 200,000% of its production price. This one may be worth looking into.
Message: "We're ready for a new oxygen bottle."
Okay, this one scares me. We're not provided with the caller ID's on numbers that are misdirected. Eventually I picked up the phone and caught this person to let them know that they should keep trying until they get the right number.
Message: "Kurt, the blade needs to be sharpened on line 8.
Sucks to be line 8 then, doesn't it?
Message: "You better get that money to me today or I'm coming over there."
Look lady, I don't have your money. If you can find me however, I will give you five dollars for your awe-inspiring stalker skills.
Message: "Kurt, the roller on line 8 is loose. We're worried that it's going to come off and hurt someone."
What the hell is up with line 8? Kurt better get his ass down there and straighten that out.
The really funny thing is that I eventually got hold of Kurt's number after a caller left it in a message. Calls for Kurt are my number one source of misdirected calls. When it's serious now on line 8, I usually call him and let him know. He's a nice guy.
P.S. If anyone wants to work with me on the grave digging, let me know. I know a guy. Well, not really, but he doesn't know that I don't know him.
