An award + How to Drive Across a College Campus

I received this award from the lovely and funny Vodka Mom over at I Need a Martini Mom.

Deb does a great blog and is ridiculously funny. She's in my 'Must Stalk' folder (and yes, I do have a folder with that label in my feeds.) Stop by and read her if you get a chance. Previously, she sorta needed the martinis since she's a teacher. I think she needs a steady supply now since I started following her blog.

I'm going to pass this award on to three four more than worthy blogs.

First up is J-money over at The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy. Her regular posts are hilarious and I love reading her blog. Her LOLHouse (find the rest yourself...you'll want to) posts venture into freaking comic genius-land. Go there, enjoy.

Next up is the Jennster at Jennster's Blog (I don't know how she came up with the blog title, but it's pure genius.) She's thoughtful and funny and makes the best 'come hither' face. We're still waiting to see if her double dog dare works on Southwest airlines.

The next to last is Kelley at Magneto Bold Too. This will undoubtedly inflate her opinion of herself, but she deserves it. Plus, she has auto-humble built into this post. She's also an Aussie but don't hold that against her. Go, read.

Addendum: I'm giving a forth award because I scraped a little extra time together and Marinka at Motherhood in NYC is one of my favorite reads. I love her sense of humor but at the same time fear for her husband's sanity. Stop by her site and make some small talk in her comments...she loves that.

I'd like to give it to you all, but there's only so much time in a day people. Plus some of you already have it or Deb just gave it to you, thereby stealing my choice. She's a snot like that. (and some of you on my list are dudes and the award has a big heart on it. Yeah, I just can't bring myself to do it. I should make some award with power tools on it or something for this purpose.)

(I lifted this straight from Deb since I'm the occasional lazy-ass) Now, there are really no requirements, except perhaps this: In a blog entry, if you have time, share with us a blog that makes you laugh, makes you wonder, makes you sigh and makes you cry. If you choose to do nothing that’s okay.

Part Two which includes the aforementioned driving on campus bit.

This advice could apply anywhere with numerous pedestrians, but college students seem to think they have a divine right to dart...no, not dart, that would imply some sort of speed...to mosey in front of vehicles. They never seem to realize that these 'vehicles' significantly outweigh them and can cause things like bodily harm and even, potentially, the cessation of ALL bodily functions. Forever.

Every day I have to drive onto campus. This is an extra special experience because students are heading to classes at the same time. I, however, have a three-point plan that keeps them from slowing me down. I will now share the plan with you for the good of mankind:

1. Drive slightly over the speed limit: Not much over mind you; a ticket won't do you any go in making it to work on time. Just enough over so that the student thinks, "I don't know if he can stop in time."

2. Never, ever make eye contact: Those little assholes stare right into the car. If they see you're looking at them, BAM, straight into the crosswalk. It's a sign of weakness to them. If they don't see you looking at them, they won't assume that you will stop before you hear a loud 'thump.' If they take the chance anyway, you'll probably catch them in your peripheral vision and be able to stop in time. If not, no biggie. There's a lot of other students out there.

3. Play loud music: Preferably heavy metal. Even if you don't like it, just get one CD for the purpose of rapid transit. You could probably even write it off as a business expense. A massive guitar riff and some dude belting out,

"I sit, in my desolate room, no lights, no music,
Just anger, I've killed everyone,
I'm away forever, but I'm feeling better,
How do I feel, What do I say,
F*ck you, it all goes away"

usually makes the students scatter like a bunch of slaughterhouse workers when immigration shows up. That and it also makes them feel as though you won't hear the loud 'thump' and won't even bother slowing down.

That's the end of my PSA. I hope it helps and many thanks to System of a Down for providing me with such awesome scattering music.

Technorati Tags: college life,driving,students,university,out of my way idiots